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Dave.
Dunedin, New Zealand

tequilafemina:

A few minutes ago my coworker said “The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be referred to as 96. Due to the economy, the price of eating out has gone up.”

My boss is still crying.

Posted 30 minutes ago

dogmobile:

Fall 2014 fashion: Scout’s ham costume from To Kill A Mockingbird

image

Posted 40 minutes ago

brownieisagatewaydrug:

God Defend New Zealand

brownieisagatewaydrug:

God Defend New Zealand

(Source: xygni)

sandandglass:

These are the most British insults I’ve ever heard. 

Posted 22 hours ago

edgebug:

morgarine:

This isn’t a fucking competition Legolas

Any time anyone says Tolkien isn’t funny, I bring up this scene.
To put it in context, Aragorn is a ridiculously good tracker. He had just been literally lying flat on his belly on the ground, his ear pressed to the dirt, so he could listen for footsteps of the army that was way, way out of sight. We’re talking miles away, here. Aragorn was listening to the ground. And from that, he figured out that there were a lot of riders, on hecka fast horses, heading right towards them, with the intention of fucking their shit up. Pretty badass, right?
Cue Legolas, a.k.a. You Little Shit. Legolas is an elf. His eyesight and hearing is ridiculously good. Like, it puts any human’s to shame.
He literally let Aragorn lie there on the ground and strain to hear footsteps in the distance for no reason. And when Aragorn got up, the little shit drove the point home by saying “Oh yeah, I see them, I’ve seen them this whole time, there’s a hundred and five of them, oh yeah and they’re all blonde and they’re carrying spears nbd”
Cue Aragorn gritting his teeth in frustration and Legolas smirking like the sassy pointy-eared fuck that he is.
This may actually be my favorite part of LOTR okay

edgebug:

morgarine:

This isn’t a fucking competition Legolas

Any time anyone says Tolkien isn’t funny, I bring up this scene.

To put it in context, Aragorn is a ridiculously good tracker. He had just been literally lying flat on his belly on the ground, his ear pressed to the dirt, so he could listen for footsteps of the army that was way, way out of sight. We’re talking miles away, here. Aragorn was listening to the ground. And from that, he figured out that there were a lot of riders, on hecka fast horses, heading right towards them, with the intention of fucking their shit up. Pretty badass, right?

Cue Legolas, a.k.a. You Little Shit. Legolas is an elf. His eyesight and hearing is ridiculously good. Like, it puts any human’s to shame.

He literally let Aragorn lie there on the ground and strain to hear footsteps in the distance for no reason. And when Aragorn got up, the little shit drove the point home by saying “Oh yeah, I see them, I’ve seen them this whole time, there’s a hundred and five of them, oh yeah and they’re all blonde and they’re carrying spears nbd”

Cue Aragorn gritting his teeth in frustration and Legolas smirking like the sassy pointy-eared fuck that he is.

This may actually be my favorite part of LOTR okay

clitt:

its 2014 and still no fanfic could top this one

image

Posted 1 day ago